So way back when I posted things you didn't know about me. Random tidbits about my life. Round 2.
Well, I have been undecided about a lot of things in my life, and blogging was well, something I would log in to do but then felt conflicted about.  Today is a new day and sometimes you have to journal about life. I was told by an amazing friend that I needed to get back to journaling because I feel better when I do.  Truth be told.

  1. Divorce sucks. You not only break up your family, (switching to me, not in general) I got disowned by friends I have had for most of my 35 years of my life. Your extended family gets awkward, some no longer talk to you like they would have because they don't know what to say. I understand this, but I'm still me, that's never changed. Just love me and support me. Support my babies. And people think they know what you are going through, don't assume folks, because you really have no idea.
  2. On that note, I have lightened my load of toxic people, some of which are the people that I hold closest to my heart and have shared everything with me in my life. Painful decisions as they were, hoping some day to mend these relationships, just not holding my breath.
  3. People at work, well some just act like nothings changed, thank u btw, but others whisper and talk gossip, which can very well damage my career.
  4. I have become a hermit when my kids aren't with me, if I am not with my immediate core group of amazing friends, I hang out at my house because I live in a very small town that all think they know my business.
  5. Speaking off business, I have lost a great business I loved all because people are small and live in glass houses. Karma. Karma. Karma.
  6. The small things always mattered the most behind my kids, but now, the small things are the most breathtaking, breath of fresh air.
  7. Keeping my kids busy, social, loved, and secure is now even more of a priority for me.
  8. The gas prices blow my mind!
  9. Working 6/12 hour days is for the birds, but great on the pocket book for a single mom.
  10. I haven't felt this happy and free in a long time. Through hell and high water, I have prevailed. And I am so very thankful for my choices, regardless of the lasting effects, because in the end, if Momma's not happy.. Well you know the rest.
  11. I miss my sisters and the relationship we could have. Maybe someday.
  12. Still miss my Grandmothers like crazy, still wish they were here to see my babies, to give me guidance, because times are so different now, their wisdom would be priceless. Seriously, if I could have one more day with all 3 of them.. Ugh..
  13. My kids are super human fish, they swim at the age of 5 that surprises all the adults at our condos pool.  Deep end to shallow end in barely 2 breaths. So. Very. Proud. Hard work always pays off.
  14. Sometimes I just have to realize that I have to let go, lower my expectations (not in a bad way) in a 5 year old kinda way. They are little people with powerful minds and thoughts, and I need to listen more and guide less?
  15. I love my Nanny Hayley Jane (as I call her), without her some days I wonder what I would do. Not because I can work, bc she does everything with my kids, she also is on the "most wanted" list for babysitters for my friends for next year. We have been very lucky with all of our FT Nanny's, she just shines!!
  16. My babies graduated their 2 year Pre-School and are ready and willing to take on Kindergarten!! Thank you Miss Ehrenberg & St. Paul Lutheran School. Look out Maple Grove!! Woooo Whooo!!
  17. I'm super excited for College Football season - - - GO BLUE BABY!! Saturday afternoons here we come!
  18. This super hot weather makes me so happy, I love feeling that humid burst of hot air first thing in the morning when I leave for work.  The cold can go shove it somewhere.
  19. I wish I could buy my condo. We love it here. Except the old cranky lady that got in my face at the pool over having my very dear friend and her beautiful children there.. But alas, I was legally within the owners/rental laws.. Hahahaha cranky pants, being shrewd, crude and scaring little kids never pays off! Just sayin'!
  20. Super thankful we have a pool! And thankful our dear friends come hang at the pool often!
  21. Coaching Charlottes basketball team was quite frankly the coolest thing I have ever done. (Jared coached Grayson's team.) And my girls rocked that tournament!  Can't wait to take the program over next winter and continue to coach Lil Rams!! Purple & Gold baby!
  22. So proud that Gray played baseball and killed it every time he went to bat, that kids got a future, mark my words. Charlie also played softball and for a 5 year old girl was never afraid of the ball, she is the quickest punkin ever, like she has wheels when she hits that ball. They are amazing kids. Really!
  23. I love to drive down the road going over the speed limit with all the windows down and the music as loud as it goes singing and dancing the entire time! I play air guitar, drums, tambourine, piano-Yup a site to see I'm sure.....
  24. The news media is disgusting-so negative. All. The. Time.
  25. I threw a surprise 60th Birthday party for my Mother. Hasn't been done in quite some time. Big deal in my book. Thankful to friends & family that attended-meant a lot.
  26. I want to take the kids on the train to Chi-town to go to Shedd's Aquarium & the Lincoln Park Zoo, been wanting to this since they were 3. And we are going to do it!!
  27. Training wheels came off the Twinks bikes. Took all of 1 try for both kids, Gray is off and riding after a week with Hayley, Jared & my parents help, Charlie just won't let go, she can do it, just has to let herself.  Love that girl, so much like me.
  28. I wonder some days what my biological father David is doing, how he is but at the same time, completely emotionally detached for so many years from him.  Weird?
  29. I have a part time job. Have to make ends meet right? And when folks see me there, they are like, what are you doing here. Yup - then I just grin and ask them if they are thirsty!! LOL!
  30. Went hiking for the first time in over a decade in Ontonagon, MI - (Upper Peninsula) hiked almost 9 miles, and felt like I could do that for a living?!?!?!?!? Loved every minute of being in the forest! So free. So small in a world of wild.. And the views - HOLY COW - Mother Nature has done some amazing work.
  31. I want to go back to college and get my degree, I want to be a positive example to my babies when it comes to my education. I have been ready to enroll in classes a couple of times, but my job at the plant has kept me from doing so due to major projects (which I am thankful for) that I get assigned to.
  32. I want to possibly go into Nursing & Photography? Bonnie says I would be an awesome nurse. I'm a caretaker of others, guess that helps right?
  33. I think about my friend Corey Jo a lot, I ponder her daily life wishing we could connect more often. We all have our own Hell we have been in or are in, but her outlook on life, continues to absolutely blow me away. She probably doesn't know it, but I look up to her.
  34. I'm thankful I have an amazing job.
  35. I have been off all of my medicine for months because it was too expensive, I have some bad days because my system is in free motion, any of you with depression or PTSD know what I am talking about, but for the most part, I'm really glad that I am not pumping chemicals into body. Risky at best, but maintaining nicely.
  36. I appreciate from the bottom of my heart my girls that have stood by my side and listened to my every word. Witnessed my ugly. Held me when I cry. Held a "friend intervention" when I held it all in from them and hit bottom - came up with a code word-FAIL. They would be there if they heard or saw that from me. Been straight up and honest. But most of all, given me their unconditional love. My love & time is yours, I cannot express the gratitude I have for you beautiful woman. Without these ladies, I just don't know where I would be.
  37. Proud that I "plucked the friend garden" had some dandelions growing in my life for years, and it took way too long to realize, they were really all about them and only them. I am a true friend, I give and give, until I can no longer give myself. So to that I make a wish on the seeds I blew in the wind along with their relationship. Onward and upward folks!
  38. I miss my kids so much when they leave on Sunday to spend the week with their Father. I hate that I can't be with them, but I know that they need their time with him. Sunday mornings can't come soon enough. Growing pains I guess.
  39. I hate-hate-hate that I gained 20+ of my 40+ pounds I lost back. Winter was very depressing and I need to kick my own a$$ and drop this weight. Good lordy!
  40. I took a CPL class (Concealed Pistol License) and can't wait to get my card in the mail.  Miss shooting guns, grew up doing it with my Dad, Big Jim and at my Brother in Laws house, John Boys.  And I am great shot if I don't say so myself.

So there you have it.  I unloaded some of my baggage. I have loads of pics, just need to post them. I bid you all happiness & health.. Live your day everyday like it is your last. Tell your loved ones how much you love them.  Happy Summer Peeps - Much Love.

Live it. Love it. Rock it. Dream it.


Angie Cavadas said...

Beth you amaze me with every numbered entry! Loved it all!
You are truly an amazing woman and I think you are an amazing friend to have in my life.

Thank you for being YOU!
Love ya

KC berta-willams said...

Have to agree with ang! So many of those I wanted to say ditto to as I read them! Thank you! Life is definitely not alway easy but if you can hush your mind and follow your heart all things will be what they are meant to be, and you will be happy. :) glad you are there.
Thank you for all you do. Love ya K

CJ said...

Beth, Beth, Beth...

You know how to snatch a girls heart and fill it with love until it's ready to burst.

I admit, I did not know you felt that way and I am now humbled to know that you do.

I know I haven't been around much, or at all, in the last year or so, but you are always on my mind.

I confess I love to hear tidbits of juiciness just as much as the next guy, but never do I take those bits serious. Nor do I judge the person or pass those bits on. You never know what's true or not, and it's not my place to pass along anything more than gas on Mexican dinner night.

I also confess that you are a better person than me. Quite frankly instead of picking those weeds and blowing the seeds away with a wish for the better, I'd have doused them with weed killer and watched their sorry asses shrivel up and die... js...

Simple put, Beth, I love you more than you could know, and I am shameful for not having told you so before now. You are a strong woman, a loving woman, a wonderful mother, and great friend. You're only human so I realize you're not perfect (hell, who is, right?). Having said that, your honesty & your heart are priceless in world that puts monetary value on everything. Don't ever stop being you!

Kisses & Love